1. |
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I'm not a pessimist
I'm just a realist
Classically trained
Constantly blinded by my point of view
I used to do this for laughs
Now I've set the bar too high
And I'm always consumed
With everyone I tell myself I need to impress
And the lofty expectations I have for myself
I need to back up, slow down
What am I in this for?
Reevaluate my idea of success
I never used to care
If anyone could see where I was coming from
I used to stand for something
Sometimes that meant standing alone
But that was alright
Back then I slept at night
With no one to answer to but God and me
Now I focus on form
And I forgot the function
And the ashtray doesn't lie:
I'm on my own
Where's the joy I used to know?
Where's the drive that got me this far?
This isn't how I thought that things should be
This is not the way I wanted you to see me
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2. |
Mommy is Beautiful
02:26
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I understand it's hard to cry
With the bruises circling your eyes
And your cracked and broken teeth
Make it hard to crack a smile
When each day is crueler than the last
You have to stop your bleeding fast
So close your eyes and sleep a little while
Today's a good day
Watch me as I waste it all away
As we let this city dig our graves
The earthquake took more than we knew
We had some years when it was me and you
But I spent them running for the door
You always told me as a child
Every time I let my life turn wild
I was more valuable to you than anything you owned
And I never had the decency
To tell you what that meant to me
And now I'm scared that it's too late to let you know
I've been running for so long
You'd think that I left you behind
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3. |
The Werewolf and the Hag
02:39
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Somehow we've fallen
Somewhere we left behind everything that mattered to us
The sunshine was too bright for our eyes
To create our own escape was always our goal from the start
These tangled webs we've weaved have slowly tightened
Strangling our hearts
With every year that passes us by
I hear one single, common cry
"We need a savior!
We need someone to dry our eyes!"
For you, those cries were dollar signs
So you say you know exactly how to break our binds
What insight!
What vision!
Campaigning for your capitalist mission
Salutations! Congratulations!
I hope you're feeling good about yourself
Your Christian hit the Christian stores
Can't quite keep on their Christian shelves
The collection plate goes empty
We spent it all on the silver spoon in your mouth
As we worship you
In what used to be God's house
Those sure ain't Salvation Army suits
Nothing but the very best for you
(I think it's time we settle this score)
Money flows in when you stress the sin
With indulgences, it's a matter of supply and demand
(You know I've seen your kind before)
This time I won't stay silent
I know you try to hide it
You're not the first to profit from your pride
Lead us to think that it was you that was crucified
You take, take, take
And give nothing back
And America says
"We don't see a problem with that"
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4. |
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You didn’t have the heart
Didn’t have the skill
You had the dream
But not the will
And so we said goodbye
Asked you to kindly step aside
I spent too many nights awake
Trying to forgive for friendship’s sake
Never to give, always to take
Looking back with shame on yesterday
I’ve been through this a time before
And I know how to spot a fake
Intentions are nothing without motivation
And a lie between friends is too much to take
You showed a different side to me
And all this time, I thought I knew
But “Like father, like son” is what they always said
And you proved that every word was true
Take this as a sign
Get your life together and I’ll let you back in mine
But I’m not coming back for you this time
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5. |
A Temporary Fix
01:52
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It’s sunup in an hour
And this cigarette’s gone sour
She looks concerned and asks if I’m okay
She brings her head in close to me
And whispers softly that she loves me
And all I do is hide my head in shame
Write this down
And don’t forget
You don’t ever want to be like me
This is just a temporary fix
Everywhere I go
I leave a little bit of poetry
To remind me
Just how confusing I can be
That self-esteem is for the weak
And my mind wanders
And it never seems to come back with any
Answers to these questions
And I can’t live like that
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6. |
Stay True, Bobby
04:03
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Bobby just turned 25
He still looks like he’s 18
He thinks that he’s just wasting time
He’s too stubborn to give up on his dreams
He played the punk rock game before
Watched it fall apart before his eyes
I think sometimes he feels like giving in
He says “There’s got to be a way to make them see
Gotta be a way to make them open their eyes”
Bobby calls it like he sees it
And he knows when things are just not right
Stay true, Bobby
And things will be alright
You’re gonna be just fine, now
Bobby was a friend to me
When I was most in need
Never quite misunderstood
But often misconceived
He found his voice too long ago
To remain silent now
Plays his cards the best he can
And he’s still trapped in this town
He knows what he believes
How he thinks that things should be
In the backyard, over cigarettes,
He’d lay out all his thoughts to me
He cares so much, it breaks his heart,
This tragic world that we all live in
And I don’t feel so alone anymore
If there’s any justice in this world
He’ll get everything that he deserves
What’s the reward for a hard day’s work?
Monetary compensation or complete rebirth?
How do you tell a friend
That’s stuck with you through thick and thin
That you would gladly die for them
Bobby said “friends are family
‘Til the bitter end”
Stay true, Bobby
It’s not too late
Stay true, stay true
And you’ll be alright
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7. |
More To This
03:54
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We’re all asking questions when we don’t want the answers
We’re saying things that we don’t mean just to get a reaction
We’re burning bridges on both ends
Searching for someone with a hand to lend
To make this something meaningful;
To make it worth the waste of time
We have the capability
But living in this poverty
Has a way of making me doubt
Everything I’ve come to believe
So if we fall tonight
Will all we’ve done just pass away?
Is there more to this than meets the eye?
I always seem to see both sides
I focus on apologetics
So there’s no need to apologize
I’m burnt out on these cigarettes
I’ve worn down all my guitar frets
There’s no book here I haven’t read
And no good lines I haven’t already said
Let’s write this down
We’ll set it in stone
These words were never perfect
But they’re all that we know
Tonight we’re everything
Tonight we’re nothing at all
I never listened to the warnings
Of anyone who failed before me
I thrive on possibilities
And they don’t know what this means to me
I’ve got bigger shoes to fill
And that makes it so much harder
Still, I’ll take my so-called friends’ advice
Their experience from their wasted lives
I’ll click this pen ten times again
I’ll hurt myself for inspiration
Then it’s back to the grindstone
Up on the chopping block
Pick up my pace
To race the ticking clock
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8. |
The Antithesis
02:24
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9. |
Us Against Them
02:18
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“It’s easy to be a critic,” you told me
“Easy to see the glass half-empty
But it takes a man to take a stand
Embrace the domain of the father land”
You tell yourself “It’s all a part of God’s plan”
I won’t argue with you about the state of things;
This much should be obvious
It’s about what you do with the facts that we present to you
Do you bury your face in the flag
To keep from seeing all it’s done?
Count on it to dry your tears
And call yourself a patriot?
“Nothing bad ever came from a little pride
Nationalism works best when you keep it blind
Why won’t you let me believe that everything’s alright?”
Because not every single soldier is there by choice
And your congressmen and senators won’t be your voice
They want you to think there’s nothing you can do
Every part of this is by their design
And in this world, you’re only free if you free your mind
You’re slowly coming to realize the truth:
It’s us against them in this nation of bloodshed
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10. |
Camelot
02:46
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We were musicians
We were poets
We were still children, just the same
We made our meals and laughed together
To keep our minds off of the pain
Our broken hearts had found a new home
We let it out in the songs we sang
But that’s all over now
And I can’t remember how we let it go
Please let me know when we pass Fedora Street
See the telltale signs of time passed by
Look at the size of the landmark corner tree
Two blocks down, we used to drown our troubles
Where lost souls would meet
We never quite knew what we had
We could never really see
And I’d take back all the words you said
If I could only find a way
To show you how it changed me
And how much it meant to me
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11. |
What We Forgot
03:30
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I’ve got a brand new reason to hate myself
Overthinking every demon that lives in me
With unending malice
I occupy the shadows
Praying for human touch to make me bleed
For your consideration, hateful souls for sale
An ego swollen with self-pity
Self-aware and ever-prepared with a stranglehold
To choke the life from this city
But I’ll be fine after the sunrise
I forgot the lessons that I learned
I’ve got no bridges left to burn
I doused out all the stars left in my eyes
This is the kind of thing you write
When you’re trying to be something you’re not
A sick, blank face
An empty page
A pretentious anthem to what we forgot
This is the place where dead men tell their tales
And the legends never fade
Where heroes know their strength
And innocence was never taken away
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12. |
Seventeen Forty-Two
03:46
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A midnight caffeine run
Serves as a selfish celebration
For a friendship salvaged
For forgiveness of our stalemate altercations
A punk rock girl with golden eyes
To talk me out of suicide
And I wish she didn’t live so far away
Before I go, I leave a note
So they’ll all know that I’m okay
I’ve learned not repeat
The mistakes that I’ve already made
But how temptations rise
Now that I’ve let them fill my mind
But I’m okay
So I pray for provision
As I walk back in the house
Here, where I stay
Feigning wisdom
While I’m sleeping on the couch
All I have to offer you are
The lies that I will tell
A place for you in my bleeding arms
And an empty heart
It’s yours now
Use it well
Every single loving line
Just reminds me of what I don’t have
Four years of tears and wasted time
And yet to find my better half
If two is really company,
Then please expect a crowd from me;
I’ll try to watch my mouth
And what I say
But loneliness has never looked so good
Or jealousy so understood
I’m a credit to this sick,
Sad image I portray
The poster boy of confidence
Vulnerable, yet arrogant
Proud of every habit on display
And if I go to hell
I’ll be going by myself
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13. |
2 am
04:41
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I have not been blessed with the gift of simplicity
Nor have I received any profoundly worded poetry
So what I have to give
I haven’t figured out quite yet
Some of us were born to fight against authority
Others only live to give and love wholeheartedly
But I think I will live and die
A commentator, giving what I get
I still believe
That I’m still not getting any younger
When I clap my hands I create thunder
That I’ll still fight before I go under
I’ll never have this all figured out
Sometimes I miss the good old days when my family was still proud of me
They expected me to do great things and make my mark on history
Now all they can expect
Is another holiday when I won’t call
I wish I had a cause that I could stand behind
And sing a thousand punk rock songs of revolution and anarchy
But lately all I stand for
Is my right to stand for nothing at all
I haven’t made the walk down Palm to the liquor store in far too long
The comfort that I once took there grew too routine and now it’s gone
Besides, the money burnt a hole
In my pockets long ago, so that’s gone, too
The cigarette burning my lungs at 2 am would not suffice
So I paced the patio trying to find myself a brand new vice
So Jesus can forgive me one more time for all the selfish things I do
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The Martyrs Fresno, California
The Martyrs were a DIY punk/ska/hardcore band from Fresno, CA. Active from 2005-2010, The Martyrs released 2 EPs and 1 full- length album, "If We Fall Tonight". Songwriter and lead vocalist Nathanael "Felon" Millar would go on to create their folk punk project, RMS Olympic, and is currently making music as Jackie Bootstraps. ... more
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